A Prayer for Election Day

 

As we wake this morning

Watching polls and charts

We invoke your Kingdom, your will

As our first and final vote

As we fight nerves and fears

As we meet the gaze of those we know

And those we don’t

We invite your Kingdom, your will here

As we wake up tomorrow

Possibly as unclear as today

We pray your Kingdom come

Your will be done

For all our words and thoughts

All the political ‘stakes’ and platforms

They are temporary

A gusting of the wind

But You are eternal

Your thoughts and words etched into the bones of time

And only by your power

Do we build anything that lasts

So today, tomorrow, and until the skies unfold

Your Kingdom come

Your will be done

On Earth as it is in Heaven.

-Kristen Meyer Harmon

For Pastor Ken

For the Faithful, goodbye is a breath,
Exhaling the mortal, inhaling the eternal.

For those still waving, goodbye is an ocean,
Uncertain and murky, but lit with the promise.

That one day land and sea will unite once more,
And together, we will meet Him in the air.

Comparison Robs Joy

 

Comparison Robs Joy 

 

This morning my three-year-old spent at least an hour playing creatively by herself.  Granted, the living room has a lot of toys out now, but it was well worth the time I got to spend doing what I needed/wanted to do. 

 

And it got me thinking how different my Sundays might feel if this was (becomes??) a normal occurrence. 

 

I remembered that morning energy and evening energy are different for me.  Focus time energy and scattered energy-while trying to multitask, entertain, handle interruptions-are different for me. 

 

It’s easy to have expectations of what life should look like.  It sounds something like this: My house should be clean.  I should be at church each week.  I should cook dinner each night.  My kids need more play dates.  We should have date night once a month….etc 

 

And while expectations may reflect goals or wishes, they don’t always reflect the reality of a current situation.  Consider: Your kids age and number, your work responsibilities, your health, your families health, your kid’s personalities and expectations of you, and generally your life stage. 

 

• Just because you could do something the past, doesn’t mean you can now, or that you won’t be able to in the future. 

 

• Just because your friend in similar life stage can do something, doesn’t mean you can. 

 

• And for sure, just because the internet world can (pretends to) do something, doesn’t mean you can or should. 

 

My mom always says, “Comparison robs us of joy.”  And I think there is a lot of truth in this.  Comparison can give us ideas.  Comparison can provide empathy.  But no one has the same exact story or situation as you.  So simply, comparison is rarely accurate. 

 

So, when managing expectations of yourself, consider all the ingredients that make up your present reality, and be kind to yourself.   Do your best for today.  And when tomorrow comes, with all its tomorrow factors, you can do your best then too. 

It's still my bottle

 It's been fun teaching Ella things like how to write the letter E and set up a tea party.

But sometimes I find she is teaching me.

For example, she still takes a morning bottle as I have my coffee, but today I discovered her bottle needed to be washed and wasn't ready for her to use.  With a quivering lip she said, "But it's still my baba."

Similarly, she wanted a pear for breakfast but I said it wasn't ripe yet.  To which she told me, "But its still a pear."

Somehow in her 2.5 years of life, she has learned to assign intrinsic value to something, even when it's current state is less than perfect. 

Even if the pear is unripe, it's still a pear.

Even if the bottle is dirty, it's still a bottle.

Even if the house is unswept, it's still our home.

Even if clothes pile in the hamper, they are still our clothes.

Even if a birthday celebration isn't perfect, it's still worth celebrating.

I'm still pondering this concept, but I'll leave us with this activity.  Fill in the blanks.

" " may not be " " but it is still my " ".

Rushing Grief

Approximately half of Americans are celebrating right now, and half are grieving. 

Celebration posts are easy to find. But what of those who are not celebrating? Already I've seen calls to move forward and to be honest, I struggle with the pace of those messages. While they may be easy proclaim when the author sides with the victor, or is ambivalent, or already in a personal place of peace, it is not so easy for those still reeling from the punching bag of the last few days.

In order to move from profound sadness and fear to acceptance, hope, and solid ground, sometimes we pass through a place of grief. And as we recall, there are stages in this process.

So, if you are (or someone you love is) stuck in the uncomfortable emotions of denial, bargaining, and anger, take a deep breath and know that this is normal.  It is okay to rest here for a moment.  

Once we acknowledge that this space is valid, we can consider ways to process our emotions and move to a happier disposition- both internally and eternally.

A few ideas on how to do this:

• Find a safe place to express your fears.  As Emily P. Freeman often says: "name the unnamed things within you." The things you are afraid to say outloud or in most circles, but still need to process.
• Consider what is not lost. Recall what is present, what is good, what offers joy and peace in this moment.
• Take some time alone to center your thoughts
• Listen to music or read poetry that reflects your mood.
• Enjoy a hot cup of coffee or tea and visit another world, travel to Middle Earth or Downton Abbey or perhaps a galaxy far far away.
• Take a long walk in nature. Listen to the birds.  Feel the sun and the breeze. 
• Pray for comfort and peace

Whatever your feelings today- may you have joy in your gladness and hope in any sadness. And peace that settles deep.

Photo by Lukasz Szmigiel on Unsplash

Words by Kristen

Election Day

 Today will be hard.

By its close, some of us will breathe great sighs of relief. Inhale hope that tomorrow, American will be brighter.  

Some will mourn, draw the blinds, fear their neighbor, and wonder if America still feels like home.  

I do not know which camp I will be in. Which one you will either. 

For if this election has taught me anything, it’s that wise and kind people can disagree on what is right for America. What is true. Who is most likely to report facts vs fiction. 

Have some of us been misled along our pathway to the voting box? Given to believe a false narrative? Perhaps in this situation, we all have to a degree. 

So I leave this reminder.  As the future sharpens for the 2021 presidency, may we remember this this truth stated by James Bryan Smith:  "I am one in whom Christ dwells and delights. I live in the strong and unshakable kingdom of God. The kingdom is not in trouble. And neither am I. 

May God bless America, stand beside her. And guide her. Through the night with the light from above. 

#Adulting- A Tale of Two Values

I've been thinking recently about the unexpected challenges of being an adult. Not the everyday conundroms of meal planning and laundry piles, but the mental weight of decisions and how to make the best ones for your family.  #Adulting is a current blog series, featuring my ponderings on this topic.

Today's post-  #Adulting-A Tale of Two Values

I realized recently that one of the complicated aspects of being an adult- for me at least- as realizing that you can have conflicting values. Both can be good. Both can be embedded deeply in who you are and what you value, but this fact does not stop them from conflicting.

Here is a simple example. I value time and connection with my immediate family. And I value time and connection with my friends and extended family.  Before our daughter arrived, I would on occasion, travel on my own to visit family or friends.  It was always so hard to leave my husband at the airport. I was glad for the quality time once I arrived at my destination, but the leaving was hard.

Another example.  I appreciate a clean and clutter-lite home. And I want want to sit with my daughter and read books and spend quality time together.  Sometimes I can't do both.  It's not wrong to want to pick up the living room.  And it's not wrong to leave it full of toys and have a tea party with my baby.

As an adult, it seems like we should be able to figure this out better. Prioritize our values and feel good about our decisions.  But sometimes....it's just messy.  Yes, we can often do better, learn more, make simple decisions that make life easier.  (For more on this check out the Lazy Genus Podcast. Kendra is gifted at helping you naming what matters and then offering routines that support what matters to you.)  

But for all the planning, and mission statement writing, and good intentions- sometimes two values conflict. And you have to make a choice which to pursue in that moment.

Perhaps this is why we are called to walk with God. Not just to understand right from wrong, truth from error, but also to seek His wisdom on everyday life. To receive guidance in moments when a decision is required...but the answer is not obvious. 

I'm still learning how to be myself as an adult and a parent, but I'm grateful I'm not learning alone!

For my friends reading this- have you found this to be true?  I would love to hear where you have felt two values conflict and if you have found a way to make peace with this.

As we move into a new week, may we have clear sight of what matters. And may our pathway be lit with gleaming light.  

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Strange Times

We are living in strange times. The parking lot next to my favorite Starbucks is empty. Even the drive through is closed. The news is packed with details on a virus that just a few months ago, was unnamed. In our news feed we see statistics, grim updates on the progression of the virus, and reminder after creative reminder to wash our hands.

And yet, despite the seeming end of the world as we know it (or at least it's pause), outside my window a cardinal lands to feed at our feeder. The flowers bloom and grow. The sun rises and sets in a stunning display of color. 

And inside my window, perhaps yours too, life goes on. We rise in the morning. We pull out dishes from the cupboard to feed our families, washing them, returning them, grateful that we have food to eat together. We work, we teach, we learn, we pray, we continue living. And at night we return to our pillows, grateful for the simple rhythms that still exist, hopeful that tomorrow will bring good news. 

We are always living history, but how much more so right now. We have entered another culture-defining-era, and I think it very possible that our nation will emerge, changed. 

How, I’m not sure. I'm not sure what the white papers will say about us in years to come if the world remains that long. How our generation will be shaped, informed by this season, granted wisdom perhaps.

But for now, as we watch, as we read, as we wait, let’s unite in prayer for God’s individual guidance and protection over those we love, and His collective healing of our land.

Photo by Richard Gatley on Unsplash

A Glimpse of Love at Seventy

Today I slid into yoga class a few minutes late.  I squeezed my mat next to an elderly couple, who were sitting close together, leaving a bit of extra room.

As the class progressed, I noticed the man was coaching his wife, helping her place her block, explaining some of the moves to her.  She was frail and thin, but trying.

I don't know their story, but it looked to me like a man who is trying to help his wife gain back some of her health and improve her strength.  And if that means he too attends yoga class, then so be it.

Love, I imagine, finds different expressions at seventy than at thirty.

While flowers, and chocolate, and surprise tropical vacations are almost always welcomed.  How much more the every day kindness that we show.

The willingness to help one another accomplish more than we could alone.

Here's to loving well.  Whether it's that first year of marriage where everything is new, after kids when compromise takes on a new meaning, or in the senior years, when love might look like driving your spouse to yoga.

Photo by Valentin Antonucci on Unsplash

Choose your practice

One of the things that I love about yoga is the ability to choose your own practice.

Many forms of exercise require pushing yourself, stretching your limits, going above and beyond.

Yoga takes a different approach, instead inviting you to honor your body, to pay attention to how you feel today, and what kind of movement would benefit you in that moment.

Perhaps today is the day you want to deepen your stretch, to attempt a handstand, to hold plank for thirty seconds.  Or perhaps today you need to take a longer child's pose, to move out of downward dog before the class, or stretch less on your right side than your left.

It's all allowed. You choose your practice.

And the instructor doesn't say a word.

While some people may prefer being pushed, and appreciate an instructor who will challenge them to work harder, reach further. Others prefer to be treated as someone who know already knows their limits and their intentions.

Maybe that makes it easier to come to the mat.  Because you can tell the truth with who you are, and who you hope to be.  You can leave your practice a little calmer, a little lighter, and with a stronger core.

So here's to choosing our practice.  May we be willing to know where we are, and hopeful to move with intention to where we wish to be.

Photo by Simon Rae on Unsplash

When does it get easier?

As a new mom, I often wondered, when will it get easier?  Translation:  When will life feel a little more like it did before this wonderful little person entered our world?

I found it was a journey- one we are still on of course.  But I thought I would share a few of our milestones as reflection on our Year One story and also an encouragement to other new moms walking this same beautiful sleepy road.

• When your hormones even out- for me around 6-8 weeks.
• When your baby starts to smile (around 5 weeks) and coo!!! (around 10 weeks)
• When you can carry your baby on your hip.  (I don't remember this timeline...but after they can hold their head up.)
• When you can set them on a blanket for 5 minutes while you make coffee and they are entertained by a book or toy.
• When their personality shines through and you realize they are a little person!
• When they can eat puffs and Cherrios! (8 months) This makes going out to eat so much better!
• When they can eat from your plate!  (9-12 months and counting.)
• When they start talking/pointing and you understand better what interests them and what they want in the moment.  (Around 11-12 months)
• When they have a schedule- somewhat.  For us this was all over the place for a long time.  I might have tried to have a routine.....but she wanted to eat about every two hours and naps where random. As her daycare provider says "No-one makes Ellarose take a nap!" But sometime around 6-8 months we got a general schedule of naps and feedings and bedtime.  
• When bedtime is between 7:30 and 8:00.  (Around 10 months.)  This really helps with chores and also time with your spouse!

For other moms- what milestones made life a little easier and more enjoyable with your sweet little ones?

Happy New Year!

Cheerios

Cheerios, Cheerios, everywhere
On the floor in the car, in a bag, in your chair.

Perfect for snacking, fun in a book
Lights up your face, easy to squish.

One day our home, may be in less disarray.
But I’m so glad Cheerios are here for today.

Mama, help me

As my daughters personality emerges I’m noticing when she acts like herself and when she loses control.

When she cries uncontrollably it’s like she is saying “Mama, help me.  Something is wrong and I don’t know how to fix it.”

And of course we try. Are you hungry? Sleepy? Tummy hurting?  Do you need cuddles or perhaps a teether and a bit of Tylenol?

Finally there is a breakthrough. She sniffles, calms, smiles, and returns to herself.

I wonder, does this happen to adults sometimes? I hope we have better understanding and mastery over ourselves than a 7 month old, but perhaps we too have times where everything seems foggy and we know something isn’t right but can’t see how to fix it.

How wonderful are the people who see us when we don’t see ourselves.

Who reach out with a phone call, a meal, a hug.  Who offer a kind mirror reflecting back the person we are growing to be. Not perfect but deeply loved.

May we all have someone who will listen when we say, “Please, help me.”

We will make art

It’s a bold statement in a beautiful book called A Million Little Ways by Emily P Freeman.

I just finished the book and I wonder. How is this true for me?  It feels true. Courageous. Right. But in my stage of life,  I prioritize a shower and making sure my family eats.  I have little margin.  So when can I make art? (Background: in this book art is what we create with our lives as image bearers not simply what we can paint with a brush.)

I used to go to Starbucks on Sunday to write. Order a warm latte and sip slowly letting words flow.  I used to make time for art.  And I imagine one day naps will be more predictable and take place in her bed instead of my arms.  And I will find time for this again.

But today is hers.  I am her soft bed.  She is my art and I am her canvas.

And I look to our Master Artist to bless the work we are developing.  To show me how to live as an artist even now. And teach her to do the same.

Backpack Envy

She seemed so carefree. Strolling in a Summer dress and backpack.  Bringing back memories of college and summer days with friends.

I don’t want to go back to those days exactly. I’m grateful for my life, for the people in it and the things God has taught me along the way.

But still....something tugs my heart at the sight.

Perhaps it reminds of when I didn't feel old.  When I wasn't so tired.  When staying up until midnight was normal on the weekends.

It reminds me of when my grandparents were all still here, ready to join us for Christmas dinner, my cousins were closer, and Sabbath lunch with my parents was the standard.

I imagine in a few years I will look back fondly on these days. And all the unique joys and new growth they bring.

I am grateful for today.

I am hopeful for tomorrow.

And nostalgic for my backpack and the era it represents.

Photo by Tomáš Malík on Unsplash

Room on the yoga floor

Sundays I like attending a morning yoga class at the gym. But timing with a baby can be challenging. Today I was late. And the class was full. I stood in the entryway hoping to find a place for my yoga mat. But none stood out. Until one kind lady stood, moved her mat to the left, and motioned for me to come. She created space. The person to her right also shifted. And suddenly I was in. No longer in the entry way. In the class.

Sometimes we are the ones with a place already on the floor. Our water perfectly arranged. Block set out. In child’s pose. In those moments of belonging, may we remember to look for those in the entry way who need our encouragement. Who need to know there is space for them to join the practice.

Hello. Goodbye. Hello

A few weeks ago, I didn’t know how to stay home with my baby girl. Now, I don’t know how to leave her. Tomorrow I return to work, and it will be the most amount of time I’ve spent apart from her.

I’m not sure how to be a working mom. How to walk away from her smiles and arms. How to pump in a little room instead of feeding her and hearing her happy sounds.

But it helps (a little) to remember that a few months ago I didn’t know how to be a mom at all. And though I still have lots to learn, I’m learning. She’s helping. So are you, friends.

So baby girl, even though I have to leave for a time tomorrow, we will be okay. I’ll come back. Daddy will take good care of you.

This coming and going is a part of life. It is hard when the space inbetween coming and going is longer than desired. But the best part about goodbye is hello again.

Hello. Goodbye. Hello. And may God bless all the spaces and places around and between those words.

Surrender

It’s a bright sunny day in Central Florida. Ella and I took a nice walk this morning before her warning sounds begin. We stepped inside the house where her fussing turned to wails.  She had recently eaten.  So...that must mean nap time! I cuddled her. Turned on the white noise. Gave her a paci and watched as she fought sleep. Her little brow furrowed.  Then relaxed. Her face scrunched. Then soothed. Her eyes blinked open and then closed.  And she finally surrendered to sleep.

Surrender can be hard won.  

I wonder how often God has to lull me into surrender. How often He whispers calm into my spirit, soothing my anxious thoughts, gently nudging me toward the still waters where He longs to restore my soul. 

If babies need help relaxing their grip, can I be surprised that adults do too? That years of growth and wisdom teach us much, but at heart we still need our Father to shepherd us. To lead us to green pasture and to guide us safely home. 

Balancing

“She’s only this little once.”  Wise words from my Dad, her Papa.

It’s true, of course.  Her tiny fingers. Wispy eyelashes. Perfect heart shaped face, they will grow.

Part of me looks with hope to longer stretches of sleep, more smiles, interactive play, tea parties. Part of me just wants to hold her close and treasure her baby face.

There is a new balancing act I am learning.  The balance between chores that must get done: bottles washed, clothes cleaned, food prepared. And observing her.  Learning her. Pausing for an extra smile.

It’s easy to tell new moms to let housework go.  But what does that really mean?  Using only disposable dishes?  Buying new clothes instead of washing them?  Uber eats every night?

Perhaps sometimes. But I suspect it’s a learned balancing skill.  When to be an adult. And when to pause and enjoy her cuddles and hold her for two hour naps. Because my dad is right. She will never be this little again.

Called but not qualified

I’ve worked in several different  jobs in my career. Some felt intimidating at first. There’s a learning curve. New people to interact with. New data to grow expertise around. New processes to implement. The new can be both exciting and daunting.

But never have I felt so unqualified for a critical task as being a new mom. We don’t typically spend 18 years at school preparing for parenthood. There are no midterm exams to study for. At best, most new parents are armed with knowledge from a few books that they don’t yet understand and some parenting classes from the local hospital.

Then suddenly miraculously, a new life is born. And you are in love and you are overwhelmed.  There is so much responsibility. So many questions. So many diapers.

Today is first day alone with my daughter. I look at her sweet face and think: what exactly do I do with you all day? How do I help you nap when you’re supposed to and eat the right amount? What kind of play will interest you? How do I learn your cues so I can help you be happy?

I imagine in a few weeks, months, years, I will look back on this time and wonder why I was so worried, thanks to the perspective that comes from time and wisdom.

For now, I must trust that God will qualify those he calls.