Friday, March 31, 2023

For Pastor Ken

For the Faithful, goodbye is a breath,
Exhaling the mortal, inhaling the eternal.

For those still waving, goodbye is an ocean,
Uncertain and murky, but lit with the promise.

That one day land and sea will unite once more,
And together, we will meet Him in the air.



Sunday, April 3, 2022

Comparison Robs Joy

 


Comparison Robs Joy 

 

This morning my three-year-old spent at least an hour playing creatively by herself.  Granted, the living room has a lot of toys out now, but it was well worth the time I got to spend doing what I needed/wanted to do. 

 

And it got me thinking how different my Sundays might feel if this was (becomes??) a normal occurrence. 

 

I remembered that morning energy and evening energy are different for me.  Focus time energy and scattered energy-while trying to multitask, entertain, handle interruptions-are different for me. 

 

It’s easy to have expectations of what life should look like.  It sounds something like this: My house should be clean.  I should be at church each week.  I should cook dinner each night.  My kids need more play dates.  We should have date night once a month….etc 

 

And while expectations may reflect goals or wishes, they don’t always reflect the reality of a current situation.  Consider: Your kids age and number, your work responsibilities, your health, your families health, your kid’s personalities and expectations of you, and generally your life stage. 

 

  • Just because you could do something the past, doesn’t mean you can now, or that you won’t be able to in the future. 

 

  • Just because your friend in similar life stage can do something, doesn’t mean you can. 

 

  • And for sure, just because the internet world can (pretends to) do something, doesn’t mean you can or should. 

 

My mom always says, “Comparison robs us of joy.”  And I think there is a lot of truth in this.  Comparison can give us ideas.  Comparison can provide empathy.  But no one has the same exact story or situation as you.  So simply, comparison is rarely accurate. 

 

So, when managing expectations of yourself, consider all the ingredients that make up your present reality, and be kind to yourself.   Do your best for today.  And when tomorrow comes, with all its tomorrow factors, you can do your best then too. 


Monday, October 11, 2021

It's still my bottle

 It's been fun teaching Ella things like how to write the letter E and set up a tea party.

But sometimes I find she is teaching me.

For example, she still takes a morning bottle as I have my coffee, but today I discovered her bottle needed to be washed and wasn't ready for her to use.  With a quivering lip she said, "But it's still my baba."

Similarly, she wanted a pear for breakfast but I said it wasn't ripe yet.  To which she told me, "But its still a pear."

Somehow in her 2.5 years of life, she has learned to assign intrinsic value to something, even when it's current state is less than perfect. 

Even if the pear is unripe, it's still a pear.

Even if the bottle is dirty, it's still a bottle.

Even if the house is unswept, it's still our home.

Even if clothes pile in the hamper, they are still our clothes.

Even if a birthday celebration isn't perfect, it's still worth celebrating.

I'm still pondering this concept, but I'll leave us with this activity.  Fill in the blanks.

" " may not be " " but it is still my " ".



Sunday, November 8, 2020

Rushing Grief

Approximately half of Americans are celebrating right now, and half are grieving. 

Celebration posts are easy to find. But what of those who are not celebrating? Already I've seen calls to move forward and to be honest, I struggle with the pace of those messages. While they may be easy proclaim when the author sides with the victor, or is ambivalent, or already in a personal place of peace, it is not so easy for those still reeling from the punching bag of the last few days.

In order to move from profound sadness and fear to acceptance, hope, and solid ground, sometimes we pass through a place of grief. And as we recall, there are stages in this process.

So, if you are (or someone you love is) stuck in the uncomfortable emotions of denial, bargaining, and anger, take a deep breath and know that this is normal.  It is okay to rest here for a moment.  

Once we acknowledge that this space is valid, we can consider ways to process our emotions and move to a happier disposition- both internally and eternally.

A few ideas on how to do this:

  • Find a safe place to express your fears.  As Emily P. Freeman often says: "name the unnamed things within you." The things you are afraid to say outloud or in most circles, but still need to process.
  • Consider what is not lost. Recall what is present, what is good, what offers joy and peace in this moment.
  • Take some time alone to center your thoughts
  • Listen to music or read poetry that reflects your mood.
  • Enjoy a hot cup of coffee or tea and visit another world, travel to Middle Earth or Downton Abbey or perhaps a galaxy far far away.
  • Take a long walk in nature. Listen to the birds.  Feel the sun and the breeze. 
  • Pray for comfort and peace

Whatever your feelings today- may you have joy in your gladness and hope in any sadness. And peace that settles deep.


Photo by Lukasz Szmigiel on Unsplash

Words by Kristen



Tuesday, November 3, 2020

Election Day

 Today will be hard.

By its close, some of us will breathe great sighs of relief. Inhale hope that tomorrow, American will be brighter.  

Some will mourn, draw the blinds, fear their neighbor, and wonder if America still feels like home.  

I do not know which camp I will be in. Which one you will either. 

For if this election has taught me anything, it’s that wise and kind people can disagree on what is right for America. What is true. Who is most likely to report facts vs fiction. 

Have some of us been misled along our pathway to the voting box? Given to believe a false narrative? Perhaps in this situation, we all have to a degree. 

So I leave this reminder.  As the future sharpens for the 2021 presidency, may we remember this this truth stated by James Bryan Smith:  "I am one in whom Christ dwells and delights. I live in the strong and unshakable kingdom of God. The kingdom is not in trouble. And neither am I. 

May God bless America, stand beside her. And guide her. Through the night with the light from above. 

Sunday, September 13, 2020

#Adulting- A Tale of Two Values

I've been thinking recently about the unexpected challenges of being an adult. Not the everyday conundroms of meal planning and laundry piles, but the mental weight of decisions and how to make the best ones for your family.  #Adulting is a current blog series, featuring my ponderings on this topic.

Today's post-  #Adulting-A Tale of Two Values

I realized recently that one of the complicated aspects of being an adult- for me at least- as realizing that you can have conflicting values. Both can be good. Both can be embedded deeply in who you are and what you value, but this fact does not stop them from conflicting.

Here is a simple example. I value time and connection with my immediate family. And I value time and connection with my friends and extended family.  Before our daughter arrived, I would on occasion, travel on my own to visit family or friends.  It was always so hard to leave my husband at the airport. I was glad for the quality time once I arrived at my destination, but the leaving was hard.

Another example.  I appreciate a clean and clutter-lite home. And I want want to sit with my daughter and read books and spend quality time together.  Sometimes I can't do both.  It's not wrong to want to pick up the living room.  And it's not wrong to leave it full of toys and have a tea party with my baby.

As an adult, it seems like we should be able to figure this out better. Prioritize our values and feel good about our decisions.  But sometimes....it's just messy.  Yes, we can often do better, learn more, make simple decisions that make life easier.  (For more on this check out the Lazy Genus Podcast. Kendra is gifted at helping you naming what matters and then offering routines that support what matters to you.)  

But for all the planning, and mission statement writing, and good intentions- sometimes two values conflict. And you have to make a choice which to pursue in that moment.

Perhaps this is why we are called to walk with God. Not just to understand right from wrong, truth from error, but also to seek His wisdom on everyday life. To receive guidance in moments when a decision is required...but the answer is not obvious. 

I'm still learning how to be myself as an adult and a parent, but I'm grateful I'm not learning alone!

For my friends reading this- have you found this to be true?  I would love to hear where you have felt two values conflict and if you have found a way to make peace with this.

As we move into a new week, may we have clear sight of what matters. And may our pathway be lit with gleaming light.  



Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash



Sunday, March 29, 2020

Strange Times

We are living in strange times. The parking lot next to my favorite Starbucks is empty. Even the drive through is closed. The news is packed with details on a virus that just a few months ago, was unnamed. In our news feed we see statistics, grim updates on the progression of the virus, and reminder after creative reminder to wash our hands.

And yet, despite the seeming end of the world as we know it (or at least it's pause), outside my window a cardinal lands to feed at our feeder. The flowers bloom and grow. The sun rises and sets in a stunning display of color. 

And inside my window, perhaps yours too, life goes on. We rise in the morning. We pull out dishes from the cupboard to feed our families, washing them, returning them, grateful that we have food to eat together. We work, we teach, we learn, we pray, we continue living. And at night we return to our pillows, grateful for the simple rhythms that still exist, hopeful that tomorrow will bring good news. 

We are always living history, but how much more so right now. We have entered another culture-defining-era, and I think it very possible that our nation will emerge, changed. 

How, I’m not sure. I'm not sure what the white papers will say about us in years to come if the world remains that long. How our generation will be shaped, informed by this season, granted wisdom perhaps.

But for now, as we watch, as we read, as we wait, let’s unite in prayer for God’s individual guidance and protection over those we love, and His collective healing of our land.













Photo by Richard Gatley on Unsplash