#Adulting- A Tale of Two Values

I've been thinking recently about the unexpected challenges of being an adult. Not the everyday conundroms of meal planning and laundry piles, but the mental weight of decisions and how to make the best ones for your family.  #Adulting is a current blog series, featuring my ponderings on this topic.

Today's post-  #Adulting-A Tale of Two Values

I realized recently that one of the complicated aspects of being an adult- for me at least- as realizing that you can have conflicting values. Both can be good. Both can be embedded deeply in who you are and what you value, but this fact does not stop them from conflicting.

Here is a simple example. I value time and connection with my immediate family. And I value time and connection with my friends and extended family.  Before our daughter arrived, I would on occasion, travel on my own to visit family or friends.  It was always so hard to leave my husband at the airport. I was glad for the quality time once I arrived at my destination, but the leaving was hard.

Another example.  I appreciate a clean and clutter-lite home. And I want want to sit with my daughter and read books and spend quality time together.  Sometimes I can't do both.  It's not wrong to want to pick up the living room.  And it's not wrong to leave it full of toys and have a tea party with my baby.

As an adult, it seems like we should be able to figure this out better. Prioritize our values and feel good about our decisions.  But sometimes....it's just messy.  Yes, we can often do better, learn more, make simple decisions that make life easier.  (For more on this check out the Lazy Genus Podcast. Kendra is gifted at helping you naming what matters and then offering routines that support what matters to you.)  

But for all the planning, and mission statement writing, and good intentions- sometimes two values conflict. And you have to make a choice which to pursue in that moment.

Perhaps this is why we are called to walk with God. Not just to understand right from wrong, truth from error, but also to seek His wisdom on everyday life. To receive guidance in moments when a decision is required...but the answer is not obvious. 

I'm still learning how to be myself as an adult and a parent, but I'm grateful I'm not learning alone!

For my friends reading this- have you found this to be true?  I would love to hear where you have felt two values conflict and if you have found a way to make peace with this.

As we move into a new week, may we have clear sight of what matters. And may our pathway be lit with gleaming light.  

Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash

Never Enough

A beautiful sunrise.

An entire day to clean and organize.

A relaxing vacation.

A family trip to the mountains.

Why is it that these things often leave us feeling both full  and empty at the same time? Full because we lived in the moment, loved the time, even made the most of it. Yet empty because it’s still not quite enough to satisfy the longing inside.

Are we ever finished?  Preparing. Cleaning. Laughing. Dreaming. Loving?

We hear of living in the partial. But how do we “not lose heart” while doing so?
How do we make peace with the passing of time? With having enough of what we need, but not always the extravagant abundance we desire.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this subject.

I'll conclude with one of mine. I believe that God is good today. That He provides wisdom and council and joy for life's journey. And that perhaps my work is not to mourn the loss of perfection today, but to instead hold confident hope that it will come. That one day there will be enough.  And the pressing thirst will finally be quenched by the water of life.

What Once Was

My husband and I said goodbye to dear friends this week who are embracing a wonderful opportunity in another state.

As we were driving to their Florida home for the last time, a thought struck me.  Today, I can drive this route, and find my friends here, as I have for days and days past.

But tomorrow, even though I can traverse the same roads, and pull up to the same address, tomorrow, the house will be empty.

I have an opportunity this day, that I will not have the next.

Life is funny like that.  We can have a routine that lasts years, and then one day, it can simply ends.   Sometimes with fanfare and procession like the graduation of high school or a new home after your wedding day.   Sometimes abruptly in the closing of the next door coffee shop or a responsibility transition at work.

Perhaps this is why we are encouraged to make the most of what we have today.  Because we do not know what tomorrow will hold.  Hebrews 3 has this direction in verses 7 and 13.

“Today, if you hear his voice, do not harden your hearts…But encourage one another daily so long as it is called “Today.”  

It’s still Today.  What will we do with it?

Photo Credit

Tuesday in February

It's the first Tuesday of February.   Somehow January has come and gone.  And 2017 marches on.

There's the expected: cold mornings and gorgeous Florida afternoons.
And the unexpected: the entire second half of the Superbowl.

There's beauty.  There's unknowns.  And there is routine.

There are so many more days to unfold.

Happy February friends.

Photo Credit

How do you find truth?

I've reached a point in the political disaster that is this election season where I'm done.  I'm not watching the debate.  I rarely click on FB links or read the emotionally charged news articles that pop up in my feed.

I'm frustrated with the whole thing.  And with that frustration comes doubt and distrust.  I'm skeptical of almost anything circulating about the election today.   How do I know if it is true?

Technically it may be true.  But the message could be a complete lie.

For example, what if I gave this statement to a reporter: "I hate getting up for work in the mornings, but I'm so grateful for my job."   

The reporter could choose to only broadcast the first part. "I hate getting up for work in the mornings."

"What an ungrateful person", the commenters could then say.  "Kristen has a great job.  How could she complain like that."

The statement broadcast about me would be only partially true, this rendering it actually false.

How then do we find truth?   

I don't have a political answer.  But the apostle John has a lot to say on this topic.     Biblegateway.com tells me that John mentions the word 'truth' 23 times in his gospel and 19 times in his letters.  Matthew, Mark, and Luke mention the word 'truth' only 4 times combined in their gospels.

In his second letter, John says that the truth "lives in us and will be with us forever."

In John 16:13 he tells us that when the Spirit of truth comes, "He will guide you into all truth...He will tell you what is to come."

Like so many good things in life, the answer is not always quick or easy.  In order to find truth we must learn to listen for its voice.

But what a voice worth finding.

Photo Credit Aaron Burden

Light Shines in the Darkness

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  John 1:5

This week we remember a day that was very dark.

America changed on that September 11.   

On September 10, 2001, it was inconceivable that a plane could become a missile.

On September 10, 2001, passengers could walk, fully clothed through the simple metal detectors, with full sized bottles of shampoo stashed in their carry on.

No one could have guessed the changes that would follow.

Was it just airline convenience that changed? Or did America change too? 

Did we suddenly realize that the darkness could reach us?  Could invade our land? That perhaps darkness didn't exist only in lands across the sea, while we counted our blessings to be born in the country of light?

And yet.  The light shines in the darkness.  And the darkness has not overcome it.

Where does the light come from?  Jesus gives us a clue in Matthew 5:14.   "You are the light of the world.....let your light shine before others."

Darkness cannot overtake our nation as long as God's people continue to shine our light, which of course is really His light, into the world.

May God bless America.  
Stand beside her. And guide her.
Through the night.  With a light.
From above.

Photo Credit: https://unsplash.com/@aaronburden 

Lessons in Make-up

I recently got a new bottle of eye make up remover.

It's so full, and I use so little each night, that it feels like I should never run out. But eventually, little by little, day by day, the liquid is poured out, used up, and the bottle is emptied.

Standing there by my mirror, I realized this was a lot like life.

It feels like life should be endless, filled to the brim with so many days that their number is virtually uncountable.

But somehow, minute by minute, week by week, years go by.  Even decades.

Sometimes I wonder, what am I doing with my time?  How is it possible that so many days have passed by?  Am I using my moments how I should?

I thought of Jesus.   In Isaiah 53 scripture says that He "poured out his life unto death."

Imagine my eye make up remover bottle, 3/4 full, suddenly being poured out on the ground until it was empty.   What an incredible sacrifice He made.

While on Earth, Jesus proclaimed a great truth.  There is more.

In John 4 He promises, "The water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life."

I think about the future a lot.  So I'm pretty grateful to know there is a future.  Because its the end of another day, and time to use one more drop.

The Price of an Opinion

There is an influential man in my church who has done many good things in his life.  And I believe his work has been greatly used by God in bringing people to Him.

However, recently he took a strong stand on a controversial topic.  And as a result many people that hold the opposing view, can't bear to listen to him.

Ecclesiastes reminds us that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent. Only God knows which time this was for him.

But let me offer one word of caution from this observation.

Before speaking strongly on a fiercely debated topic ask yourself the following questions:

• Will your voice on this subject silence it on all others?
• If so, is it worth it?

I'm not saying it is not.   Sometimes strong words need to be spoken.  Even if they are not popular.

But I believe there is value in considering the consequences of strong words and remembering the words of Psalms 4:4-5.

"Be angry, and do not sin.  Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still.  Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, and put your trust in the Lord.

Love is Kind

Why is it so easy to lose kindness in disagreements?

I have been astounded at the unkind words thrown at each other by Christians over an extremely heated topic in my denomination. 

It's like passion for our position explodes into our conversations and for a moment the gloves come off, we forget who we are, and words far more hurtful than the original topic come pouring out.

Why does this happen?  How many topics really warrant this kind of passion?

Love is patient.  Love is kind.

I believe we need balance between courage and kindness.

Courage to believe truth even when it is unpopular.  Courage to fight for what is right. Coupled with kindness in our fingers, our speech, and most importantly our hearts.

Jesus said, "By this everyone will know you are my disciples, if you love one another. "*

May it be so.

*John 13:35

Fear and a Vacuum Cleaner

Jewel, our 4 year old Green Cheek Conure, hates the vacuum cleaner.    We aren't quite sure why, but it scares her.   She is not especially logical when frightened, often randomly flying around the room in response to a startling noise.

Today as I brought out the vacuum cleaner, she wasn't happy.  I turned it on and something interesting happened as I started on the living room floor.

She flew to my shoulder.

Which means she flew closer to the thing that frightened her.

Which to me means, even though she was scared of the vacuum cleaner, she was more scared to be alone and further away from the noise, then on my shoulder and near the noise.

She trusted me to keep her safe, even if that meant getting closer to her fear. 

I can't help but draw life parallels.

If God ever calls us to do something that scares us, it is wiser for us to approach the fear by his side then to stay on the sidelines.  We can trust Him to take care of us, even in rough or uncharted waters.

Beyond the Miasma

There are days when life makes sense.  Things fall into place, routine finds its groove.  During this time we don't often question life and may easily find answers when we do.

But there are other days when something pulls us from the routine and for a moment we catch a glimpse of a bigger picture.

Often these reflections are inspiring.  But sometimes the corresponding thoughts are confusing or even worse cause life to feel meaningless in that moment.

For example: Why go to college, get married, and buy a house on the lake so your kids can spend happy summer days by the shore, if later in life you will retire and your children will move on to their own homes?

What is the point of life, specifically as time slips by and generations change?

The stories of the Bible offers hope and the promise of something bigger and greater in the universe but that something can still be hard to understand.

Perhaps it is because we still live in the fog.  We don't see clearly yet.

Paul says it this way, "For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part, but then shall I know even as I am fully known."  1 Cor 13:12

Perhaps it's like a young boy growing up in a tiny town deep in the marshlands and full of miasma.  He has never left home, but on the clearest of days he can catch sight of an incredible mansion perfectly situated on the green hillside outside the village.

Somehow he knows that the mansion and surrounding lands are good and beautiful; perfect beyond his  imagination, but because he can't yet cross the wide swamp between his home and the hills beyond it, he doesn't know what the great hallways look like or how the green pastures feel beneath his feet.  He can't explore the grand rooms or run through the grounds in search of fireflies.

The boy longs to escape the poisonous air of his homeland for instinctively he knows that his very survival depends on it.  But he doesn't know exactly what to expect once he does leave.

Like the boy, we long for as many glimpses of that mansion as we can handle, but there may be things about it that we will not understand until we get there.  Things that in our mortal state, we can not understand.

So for now, may we know Way home,  trust the Truth of how to get there, and find deep hope and purpose in Life eternal.

The mansion waits.  The fireflies glow.  One day the fog will lift.

Let us hold fast to our hope.