I've been thinking recently about the unexpected challenges of being an adult. Not the everyday conundroms of meal planning and laundry piles, but the mental weight of decisions and how to make the best ones for your family. #Adulting is a current blog series, featuring my ponderings on this topic.
Today's post- #Adulting-A Tale of Two Values
I realized recently that one of the complicated aspects of being an adult- for me at least- as realizing that you can have conflicting values. Both can be good. Both can be embedded deeply in who you are and what you value, but this fact does not stop them from conflicting.
Here is a simple example. I value time and connection with my immediate family. And I value time and connection with my friends and extended family. Before our daughter arrived, I would on occasion, travel on my own to visit family or friends. It was always so hard to leave my husband at the airport. I was glad for the quality time once I arrived at my destination, but the leaving was hard.
Another example. I appreciate a clean and clutter-lite home. And I want want to sit with my daughter and read books and spend quality time together. Sometimes I can't do both. It's not wrong to want to pick up the living room. And it's not wrong to leave it full of toys and have a tea party with my baby.
As an adult, it seems like we should be able to figure this out better. Prioritize our values and feel good about our decisions. But sometimes....it's just messy. Yes, we can often do better, learn more, make simple decisions that make life easier. (For more on this check out the Lazy Genus Podcast. Kendra is gifted at helping you naming what matters and then offering routines that support what matters to you.)
But for all the planning, and mission statement writing, and good intentions- sometimes two values conflict. And you have to make a choice which to pursue in that moment.
Perhaps this is why we are called to walk with God. Not just to understand right from wrong, truth from error, but also to seek His wisdom on everyday life. To receive guidance in moments when a decision is required...but the answer is not obvious.
I'm still learning how to be myself as an adult and a parent, but I'm grateful I'm not learning alone!
For my friends reading this- have you found this to be true? I would love to hear where you have felt two values conflict and if you have found a way to make peace with this.
As we move into a new week, may we have clear sight of what matters. And may our pathway be lit with gleaming light.
Photo by Patrick Fore on Unsplash
